My happiness
Runs on toilet water
My will
Runs on fumes of sorrow
The weight on my chest gets heavier
My breath gets shallower as the weight piles on
That thin, rectangular piece of metal
That metal that holds such responsibility
Of making happiness
Of tearing away the pain
That thin, rectangular piece of metal
Gets louder and louder
(Elizabeth)
As every drop falls
As every moment of numbness fills me
That thin, rectangular piece of metal
(Elizabeth)
Beckons my name
(Elizabeth)
Calls out to me
(Elizabeth)
Like a long lost friend
Promises to be there for me
Like it always was in the past
It whispers sweetness in my ear
It is trying to replace
I don't exist in your world.
Am I a secret to your world?
You call me your lady,
Say this is forever
But yet I am placed in shadows.
Kept behind locked doors,
Never allowed to come in.
Am I a secret to your world?
Your shameful decision.
Someone to play mind games with,
Your pit stop twice a week.
Is it hard for you,
To play the 'day in day out' game?
Do you sit at home
And practice?
How many can you juggle?
Who else do you call your baby,
Your queen?
Who else hears your promises
And 'I love you'?
I gave you everything I have,
And then some.
I told you I was broken,
A throw away.
Before we got together,
I tried my best to warn you.
It's been a few weeks,
Do you believe me now?
I truly care about you.
But I feel you are starting to realize,
The shit that I am.
I am not worth a penny.
I am not worth your time.
I am not worth your love.
I am not worth anything.
Toss me to the side,
Before it becomes to late.
Toss me to the side,
Before you miss out on you true one.
I am just a stepping stone,
I am just a rug at your door.
Here to wipe your feet on me,
And enter another door.
You wake up one morning like a thousand other mornings rubbing another wasted yesterday from tired and bleary eyes surrounded by a houseful of strangers that you thought were your friends and you realize in a momemt of clarity that you have become old and unimportant you cant seem to recall the last time when you were truly happy the world around you is becoming unrecognizable... technology too complicated everything is changing moving too fast for you to keep up and its picking up speed. You dont have dreams anymore but if you did it wouldnt be about some watered down adventure or an age appropriate road trip on a tour bus full of baby boomers armed with a bucket list Fuck that! You would dream of a better time a better place...the past where you are still young and the music is cool Home is your old high school bedroom where old friends and loved ones are still in the world a world you could understand. But you dont dream because you can never go back home is not so much as
If only I had the opportunity,
I would be there for him always.
If only I had the chance,
I would watch the stars with him
Until we were too tired
To keep our eyes open any longer.
I would devote myself to him entirely,
I would shower him with love,
And tell him how much I love him
Every time we spoke.
There would be no better experience in the world
Than those I'd share with him.
A shiver would crawl down my spine
With every thought of him.
The air in my lungs
Would be stolen
By his every glance.
My heart would flutter
Under his tender kiss.
Every embrace he gave
I don't exist in your world
Am I a secret to your world?
You call me your lady,
Say this is forever
But yet I am placed in the shadows
Kept behind locked doors
Never allowed to come in
Left on the front stoop
Am I a secret to your world?
Your shameful decision
Someone to play mind games with
Your pit stop twice a week
Tell me,
Is it hard for you
To play the day in day out game
Do you sit at home
And practice
How many can you juggle
Who else is your baby
Am I truly the only one
Your one and only Queen
Who else hears your
Dreams
Promises
And I love you's....